Supposedly I would be getting notice to move to new apartment around the mid part of May …but nooooooooo. This new management company has seen fit to give me 5 days notice for move.  Told  me this morning that I would be given key on Friday and that I needed to be completely moved by mid week next week. That I needed to comply or be evicted.(insert ranting , raving and some serious cussing here)Not sure how they expect me to perform this miracle alone, but they do not care how it is done. Assholes!

Went out for a bit to friends house for belated Easter dinner it was delicious and got a few boxes of stuff over to her house that she wanted.  I can’t wait to get away from all these boxes and junk around me. Making another trip to the donation center on Monday. 

Went out with my dad and 2 aunts today for lunch , it has been a good thing to have a bit of a break in the moving process I am going thru.

My place looks like Goodwill and the liquor store blew up in it..all my junk and boxes from liquor store..how much one can accumulate in time. I still haven’t really cleared away a lot of the things from after my husband passed away.

ok so the packing is a physical thing, that is wearing me thin, but also there is the emotional part of letting go of past life with my husband to go into this transitional change .

This place was once nice and was happy , now after loosing my husband and my fur baby it is really just kind of sad now. There are good memories but they are really overshadowed now by long time sickness and death.

So there now that is said the things to be thankful for are the regular you know , family , friends, my dog, my computer lol  etc.

Happy Thanksgiving all

Oh and hey Santa , Early request, I been a good girl mostly . Can you make room on your sleigh and bring that special gent home to me before Yule?

When I was running back and forth to the hospital in the final months, he would give me a ride sometime but also they would be handing me a cup of fruit smoothie they had made , because knew I was over tired and not eating, when I’d go by there would be handing me smoothies.

The day my husband died it was Roland that came over gave me a hug and kiss on the head like a grandfather would do, and I guess I sort of thought of him as like having an extra pepere again.  He would say to me things in french and  laugh this great big laugh , he knew I understood what he said . He had a great laugh and if he was in the hall or the community area you knew it because of that , he lived , laughed and loved large in life.

When I first learned that he was on hospice, I waited a day or two to go see him. I knew he was very social and wasn’t able to get out much, it taxed his strength so much.  So I went to visit and gave him a hug, made him happy . I also asked him if he would like to use Bill’s scooter chair and so I brought over to him. He got into it and shot up the hallway no problem at all . Then he was able to enjoy getting out in the hallway , going to play cards again and have a little freedom. I only wish that he had more time to have enjoyed that chair.

He told me the two days ago that I had no idea how much he was loving that chair and how much it really meant to him, he was happily zooming off down the hallway in it. Now he is gone,  and I was so glad to have brought him some fun and mobility in his final days.

RIP Roland  I will miss your great big laugh.

More later…..

When you love someone that is so far away it is so difficult to not hurt. A million ways to communicate now a days and it is often so inadequate to get across what you mean/feel. It looses something not being able to see and hear what is there, you can only trust in your connection and in time understand what was unable to be communicated.
My understanding now goes out to anyone with deployed loved ones.

The Doctor: You two! We’re at the end of the Universe. Right at the edge of knowledge itself. And you’re busy blogging!

A man is keeping me awake, can’t sleep , so near and yet so far. Something wonderful, maybe.
He has the most amazing eyes even just in pictures. I could melt in eyes like that . I could wake up in the morning look in his eyes and know that no matter what the world brought on for that day coming back to look in those eyes I would feel happy secure, and safe at the end of the day, on the other hand he could give me a look while standing in Walmart and I would want to strip him naked right there. Can’t say it is not mutual. Not my fault he has to sleep on his back or side these days to keep from making a dent in the mattress…hee hee.
What the heck is that? I have not run into that before, it is like having a look inside someone and seeing a soul and a heart.
He is also very sensual and erotic and for that reason just a thought or a dream of him has me flustered and wide awake again. So I feel like the doctor’s companions here I am out on the end of the universe, things going on and all I can do is blog about it for now and wait and see what adventure happens next.