It’s late or early or late depending how you look at it. I can’t sleep stressing over hubby in hospital. This time it is for pneumonia. It is so difficult because he is so unhappy having to be there, doesn’t like that every time he gets a meal  they always come in to poke at him , by the time they are done messing around he has a cold meal.  I get the brunt of his anger and I know he doesn’t mean it but it hurts. It’s not as if I can do much other then telling the nurses how frustrated he is by it, and hope they can work around his meal. Yet he seems to think I have some control on it and it’s as frustrating on my end as it is on his that I can’t do much more.

His blood has been thinned out so much from the blood thinners they have him on and that along with the pneumonia and cancer his  system is so off. They had to give him a unit of blood tonight. I am very stressed by all this but have to trust that he is in good hands and they will do the right thing for him.  I just can’t seem to sleep, thinking and worrying. Slept about three hours last night and hardly expect to get that much more tonight . Cut off the caffeine early hoping that would help but it has only made me groggy in the afternoon when we went to visit, and not sleepy at all now.

I guess that these are some of the things you have to expect when your loved one has cancer. It’s like a cruel roller coaster ride and have to weigh the good to the bad.

Took the fur baby up when I went to visit with Erik, and that seemed to cheer him up some , but by the time I had returned home and called him back , as he asked me to , he was angry again. I don’t know if all this has something to do with the medical issues going on, but it is  very jarring on my nerves and never sure what to expect when he calls. I am just hoping they get this straight and I can have my kind jovial husband back .